Promises
by NettieC
Summary: Set in S10, things reach breaking point for Mac. With help from Harm and a promise she's always wanted, things are improving for Mac...and for Harm too!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having filling in some time.  
**_

_**This ff takes place after Retrial (Season 10). Mac has dealt with the bigamy case and is upset with what Bud's client has said to her.**_

_**HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! **_

_**----------------------------------------------------------Promises---------------------------------------------------------**_

It was all too much for Mac. She had been trying to hold everything together, to keep everything on an even keel and it had been working – to a degree, As long as she could keep matters on a professional level and didn't look too deeply into herself she could cope. That was until a small, unappealing man with four wives entered the picture.

Mac could not understand how each woman could love him so much they would be willing to share him. She could not comprehend how he could be so enchanting even the judge had responded warmly to him. And she definitely couldn't understand how a man she had such contempt for could undo everything she'd tried to keep in check by simply saying he could see in her eyes that she had been hurt and he hoped it wouldn't make her bitter.

Bud had felt dreadful that his client had been so open and honest with the Colonel. Her pain was so clearly evident for all at JAG to see but nobody had commented on it directly. Nobody, that is, except his client.

After the case, Bud went to Mac's office to apologise.

"Excuse me, ma'am," he called. Mac had her chair turned around and she was looking out the window. She didn't reply.

"Ma'am? Colonel MacKenzie?" he called again.

"What is it Commander Roberts?" She didn't move.

"Uh, I just wanted to apologise for my client's comments," Bud said nervously.

"Do you think his comments were wrong?" Mac asked, turning to look at him.

"I think the fact he said it was wrong, ma'am," Bud acknowledged, forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

Mac stood up and grabbed her cover, Bud knew she wasn't happy.

"So do you think I'm someone to be pitied too, Bud? Poor Colonel MacKenzie, no one in her life who cares enough to stick around and yet here he is with four wives," Mac spat out, her last nerve frayed.

"Colonel, that's not what I meant!" Bud tried to correct her.

"Go to hell, Bud!" Mac yelled as she stormed out of the office.

Sturgis had caught the final exchange and had seen the aftermath.

"What's going on, Roberts?" the temporary JAG demanded in a low voice.

"Nothing, sir," Bud replied, not wanting to make the situation worse.

"Don't 'nothing sir' me. I'm not blind. What happened, Commander?" Sturgis asked again.

"I tried to apologise for something my client said and…" he began in explanation.

"And the Colonel didn't take it too well?" Sturgis interrupted.

"Something like that, Commander," Bud said sadly.

"Fix it!"

Later that night, Mac was on her couch in her favourite cowboy pyjamas. She had begun a new novel but after reading the same line three times she threw it across the room. She felt there was nothing she could do right, her life was a mess, her health was borderline. Professionally, she was coping, just, but she had to admit her heart wasn't really in it. And now, after trying to keep it all in balance, it had come undone through the unsolicited sympathy of a bigamist.

There was a knock on her door and Mac decided to ignore it; she did not want company. There was a second knock and then a third. Her caller was persistent. Eventually she opened the door and Bud stood there.

"Bud, I'm so…" she began, her feeling of shame over her earlier display clearly evident.

"Please don't apologise, ma'am. I'm the one who's sorry. I just don't know what to say to you at the moment," Bud paused. "Ma'am, I know things have been really difficult for you but please know that Harriet and I are here for you – after all we are friends." Mac started to cry and turned away. "Oh, ma'am, please don't cry either. I didn't mean to upset you. God, I can't do anything right."

She turned to face him and shook her head. "It's not you Bud, it's me. My life is such a mess. I need all the friends I can get and I yell at one of my best ones. Thanks for coming and for caring."

Bud smiled. "Anytime, Mac," he said, using her name hesitantly. "You know if there's anything you ever need, just name it."

"Thanks Bud, I appreciate it but at the moment I think I just need time by myself," Mac said, her face awash in the relief she felt at this relationship still being intact.

"I think it would be better for you to be around people. Come home with me, the guest room is already made up. Harriet and the boys would love to see you," Bud offered.

"Thanks but I'm not good company. We'll do it another time," Mac assured him.

"Are you sure? I hate the thought of you being here alone." Bud gestured towards the apartment.

"I'm sure, besides I have a book I'm reading," Mac said, trying to smile.

"The one over there on the floor?" he asked.

"Ah, yes," Mac replied sheepishly.

"Are you sure you won't reconsider?" he asked again heading for the door.

"I'm sure," Mac confirmed. "Bud, I am sorry for earlier, at the office, I should never have taken my frustrations out on you. You're one of the good guys."

"As long as we are still friends, Mac, you have nothing to apologise for," Bud said sincerely.

Mac smiled and kissed his cheek. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Last chance…" he said as he moved through the doorway.

"Good night, Bud."

She closed the door behind him.

Mac sat back down on the couch and the tears she had been fighting spilled over. She didn't want to be consumed with self pity but she couldn't help it. Everything looked bleak and she hated it, she hated herself. There was another knock on the door.

"No, Bud. I haven't changed my mind," she yelled without moving.

"Mac, it's not Bud. It's me, Harm." His voice was strong and firm and she cringed.

"What do you want?" Mac yelled back not daring to move from the couch.

"I want you to open the door," he yelled back.

"Sorry, I'm not up for visitors," she replied, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

He could hear the tears in her voice. "Mac, open the door."

"Harm, please go away. I…I...I…." She began to sob and this served only to heighten his anxiety.

"Mac, one way or another I'm coming in. Please open the door," he yelled rattling the doorknob.

Mac lay back on the couch and closed her eyes. She knew she would not cope with seeing Harm. His caring and compassion would be too much for her. She said nothing and held her breath.

Mac heard him turn his key in the lock. She had forgotten he had a spare key to her apartment. Quickly she pulled a cushion over her face; she didn't want him to see her like this. Harm opened the door and was taken aback by the scene. He sat down on the edge of the couch and tried to move the cushion. Mac resisted.

"Harm, please go. Leave me alone," came the muffled voice.

"Mac, I'm not going anywhere. Now take the cushion away," he softly ordered, tugging on the cushion.

"No. Just leave me be. I can't do this. I can't." Sobs began to wrack her body. She fought to control herself but the raw emotions coursing through her proved too much. Harm easily removed the cushion and went to hold her. She pushed away his advances.

"Harm, no, don't. I don't want…" She hit his chest trying to keep him away.

"Mac, it's okay, it's okay, ssh," he said in a soothing tone wrapping his strong arms around her.

She resisted for a while but when it all became too much and she gave in and collapsed into his chest holding onto him for dear life. She cried floods of tears and felt completely lost in his arms. For Harm's part, he sat and held her tightly. He stroked her hair, kissed her head and gently rocked them. He could make out very little of what she was trying to say but he got the gist of it. He could make out the names of Sadik, Clayton, Simon and even her doctor. His heart was breaking to see her in such distress.

When Mac's crying finally abated, Harm continued to hold her tightly. He was at a loss for words but felt, in this instance, actions spoke volumes. So, in the darkness of the apartment he continued to hold her tenderly. As the time passed, Harm realised she had cried herself to sleep. He scooped her up and carried her to bed. He gently placed her between the sheets and pulled up the covers. As he turned to leave she stirred, pulling his arm back she whispered, "Harm, don't go. Please stay with me."

Harm removed his uniform and slipped into bed beside her. He ran his hand up and down her arm but she was already asleep. In the near darkness of her room he lay there looking up at the ceiling. They had often shared the same bed but Harm longed for the day they would finally_sleep_together.

It was daylight when Mac woke; she was surprised to find herself encircled by Harm's arms and in her bed. Her last clear recollection was of breaking her heart crying on her couch last night. She looked up at him and saw he too was awake.

"Hi there, Marine. Sleep well?" he asked a bright smile on his face.

Hi, yes I did thanks." In fact it had been the best night's sleep she'd had in so very long. The first time she had felt safe, secure and loved. She smiled. It was the smile he was longing to see.

Then with her inner clocking registering, Mac sat upright.

"God, Harm, it's 0906. We've got that wonderful supplementary Saturday budget review meeting with Sturgis at 0930. We'll be late," she said, scrambling to get out of bed.

"No, no, it's okay," Harm grabbed her arm as she went to get up. The phone began to ring. She reached across Harm to answer it. They both knew she left her hand lingering on his chest longer than she needed too.

"MacKenzie," she answered. "Oh, yes. Are you sure? Okay then. Yes, he is."

She handed the phone to Harm. "It's Sturgis, for you."

"Hi there Sturgis," Harm said. "Yes, situation's improved. No, I can't. Tomorrow at 1400, yeah, great. No worries. Appreciate it Sturgis. See you." Harm hung up the phone.

Mac was resting on one elbow watching him.

"How did Sturgis know you were here?" Harm paused. Mac insisted, "Well?"

"Do you want the basics or the detailed version?" he asked, trying to stall.

"Details, thanks," she stated.

"I ran into Sturgis before I left the office last night. He asked me if I had spoken to you that afternoon, I said no, why? He said you were quite upset and had yelled at Bud. I told him I was coming over here anyway so I would check up on you. I got here and as I did Bud was getting into his vehicle. He was very concerned about you, not to mention about feeling guilty about it too. He warned me that I might not get the best reception. I came up anyway and – well, you know the rest," Harm said quickly.

"But how did Sturgis know you'd still be here?" Mac asked.

"Oh, I rang him this morning, a little after seven and explained that this meeting wouldn't really be a productive one and if he could reschedule it we'd appreciate it," he replied.

"Did you tell him why?" Mac asked. It was one thing Harm knowing she was a basket case; she didn't need Sturgis knowing it too.

"No, just that things were a bit rough last night but smoother today," Harm said, flashing a reassuring smile.

Mac smiled, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Anyway we now have a free Saturday together. Any requests, Ma'am?" Harm asked, prepared to do anything for her.

"Some more sleep, I think," Mac yawned.

"And then?" Harm asked.

"Surprise me." She grinned widely, setting him the challenge.

"Aye, aye, ma'am," he replied throwing her a mock salute.

Mac laid back and closed her eyes. "Do you need anything, Mac?" Harm asked as he went to get up. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, he loved that smile. "Can you just stay here and little longer?"

Harm willingly obliged and extended his arms. Mac gratefully accepted and moved into him; this was the only place she wanted to be.

When Mac awoke a while later, she was surprised to find his side empty and the aroma of coffee coming from the kitchen. She walked in to find Harm sitting at the table reading the newspaper.

"Morning again," he said when she appeared. "I have breakfast for you. Well, brunch actually." He looked at his watch. "Wow, it's 1145, probably safe calling it lunch. Sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. Thanks to you," Mac said warmly.

"Anytime." His offer was genuine; he was more than willing to spend his nights, and days, with Mac in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having fun.**_

_**This ff takes place after Retrial (Season 10). Mac has dealt with the bigamy case and is upset with what Bud's client has said to her. **_

_**-------------------------------------------------------Promises---------------------------------------------------------------**_

Lunch eaten, both showered and dressed in sweats; Mac's from her closet and Harm's from the sports bag he kept in the trunk of his car, Harm was ready to go. "Right, Mac, let's go."

"Where too?" she asked.

"It's a surprise," Harm grinned.

"But..." Mac began to protest.

"You said 'surprise me'. I'm only following your instructions," he replied brightly.

"You didn't follow my instructions last night. I told you to go away," Mac said, a seriousness creeping into her voice.

"And aren't you glad I didn't listen?" Harm asked, echoing her tone.

"Yeah, I am. Have I said thank you yet?" Mac replied.

"A few times." Harm smiled at her. "But this is going to be a surprise."

"Alright," she conceded, how could she argue with him after everything he had done for her.

As they pulled into a car park in a sparsely populated industrial estate, Mac saw their destination.

"Ice skating?" she asked.

"Yep." He grinned.

"Ice skating, really? I haven't skated in years. I don't know if I remember how," Mac said unsure whether to be happy or sceptical about their impending activity.

"It's like riding a bike, Mac, it'll come back," Harm said, an overconfident grin on his face.

They made their way into the building and were greeted by a man, who according to his name tag was Sam.

"Hi Sam, I'm Harmon Rabb," Harm said, extending his hand.

"Oh, yes Commander, I 've been expecting you. Skates are over there, help yourself. You will have the place to yourself for a couple of hours. We open to the public at 4.30pm. You want anything, just yell. I'll be out the back." Sam left them and went into his office.

After several attempts to find the right size skates, Harm and Mac made their way to the ice. Mac was hesitant at first, preferring to remain near the railing. Harm was as fearless as ever and skated all over the rink. It was of great delight to Mac that Harm missed a turn and ended up sliding on his six across the ice, stopping at her feet.

"That was a good one, Flyboy. Can you do it again in slow motion?" she smirked.

"Ha, ha. Very funny Marine." He grabbed the rail to help himself up. "At least I'm not a wussy marine hovering by the rail." He skated off to avoid the hit he knew would be coming his way.

"Them are fighting words, Sailor." She took after him. Mac managed to catch him and her playful punch nearly sent him head first over the railing. "Oh, Harm, I'm so sorry." She hadn't intended to do any real damage. When Harm had recovered sufficiently he stood up.

"Don't apologise, Mac," he said as he took off towards her, "just skate."

And skate they did. The time flew by quickly and Mac was proud of the fact that she hadn't hit the ice once. This was a bone of contention with Harm, especially when his attempt to do a spinning move, one which required grace and talent, saw him take a hard tumble. He lay on the ice, on his back and closed his eyes, more through embarrassment and exhaustion than any real pain. Mac skated over instantly. "Harm, Harm, are you okay?" She reached down. Harm grabbed her arm and pulled it, causing her to fall beside him. "Harm, what are you doing?"

"Now you can't say you didn't fall," he replied, a cocky grin on his face.

"You, you…" She went to push him back down but he took hold of her and kissed her. It took then both by surprise. The kiss had been welcomed and it had been wanted but neither knew how to react. They didn't have a chance to think about it further as the doors opened and they were joined on the ice by a local scout troop.

"God, our timing sucks," Mac muttered to herself as she managed to stand up and drag Harm up with her.

Being closer to Harm's place than hers they decided to have dinner there. They arrived just in time to enter the debate with Mattie and Jennifer as to whether it would be pizza or Chinese. Pizza won.

"Mac, Jen and I were going to play Trivial Pursuit tonight. Want to join us?" Mattie asked and then flashed a cheeky smile at Harm. "That's if you haven't got a better offer, of course."

"I'd love to play, Mattie," Mac said.

"What about me? Do I get an invite?" Harm whined.

"Oh, poor Harmie, of course you do. Do you want to play Trivial Pursuit and be beaten by three beautiful, sexy girls?" Mattie teased.

Harm smiled and thought of many comments but decided a simple, "I'll take my chances" sufficed.

The game progressed and Harm was leading and was feeling quite smug about it. He had answered all of his questions correctly and had conveniently landed on the right squares to get him many of the pieces of wheel. After taking a short bathroom break, Harm returned to find his luck had deserted him. The questions were more obscure and he was having little success with the answers. He suspected his playing companions had set him up but was waiting for the necessary evidence before addressing the matter. Mattie dissolving into fits of laughter because he couldn't answer an aviation question was proof enough. He snatched the cards and realised the girls had been making up the questions for Harm and accepting any response the girls gave to their questions.

"Why you…" Harm jumped up from the table and began chasing Mattie, who just laughed at him.

"Well," said Jen standing up looking at the board Harm had upended, "I guess the game's over. It's late anyway." She shot a look at Mattie.

"Oh yeah," said Mattie, "I didn't realise the time."

"It's not that late," said Harm checking his watch. "It's just gone 2200."

"It is late if you are going to take Mac home," Mattie paused. "However, Mac could stay here tonight and come with us tomorrow on the picnic," she quickly added. She smiled sweetly and waited for the response.

"About the picnic, Mattie, Mac and I need to be in the office by 1400 for a meeting we rescheduled from this morning," Harm said.

"That's okay, sir, it can be a picnic brunch." Jen smiled at Harm and raised her eyebrows. He knew what she meant.

"Well, Harm?" Mattie asked again.

"It's up to Mac," He looked at her.

"Id love to join your picnic brunch," she said. "Being around people has done wonders for me today." She smiled at Harm.

"Does that mean you're sleeping over?" Mattie asked quickly.

"If that's alright with …." she began and looked at Harm.

"Oh, it's fine with the Commander, isn't it, sir?" Jen said. Harm just nodded.

"Ok, we'll make up the sofa. Harm won't mind sleeping there, will you?" Mattie chided.

"Sofa's fine Mattie," Harm said firmly.

"I'll just go and grab something for you to wear, ma'am," Jen said and quickly departed.

The sofa had been made up and Harm was sitting on the edge of it while Mattie sat on the coffee table. Mac was standing by the bench when Jen returned with clothing in both hands.

"Sorry, I don't have much to offer you, ma'am. You can have this or this." In one hand she held a scarlet negligee that would make many a man blush and in the other she held an oversized cotton t-shirt with a sleeping puppy print on it.

"Well, the choice is obvious, isn't it Harm? Mattie said as she grabbed the t-shirt from Jen's hand and ran out of the apartment. "Night all."

"I can go and get it back, ma'am. She's only teasing," Jen offered.

"No, no, it's alright, Jennifer, let her have her fun." She held up the negligee. "It's not like anyone's going to see it."

"Yes, ma'am. Good night ma'am, sir."

Mac had been in bed for nearly an hour listening to Harm rattle around the apartment when he wasn't tossing and turning on the sofa. She wasn't surprised when he appeared at the door.

"Anything I can get you, Mac?" he asked quietly.

"No, I'm right," she replied.

"Okay." He turned to leave.

"Are you…okay?" Mac asked, causing him to turn back.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" Harm asked, leaning against the wall.

"Well, I've been in here fifty seven minutes and you haven't settled at all. Does it make you uncomfortable having me here in your bed?" Mac asked with genuine sincerity.

"No," he lied. He felt very uncomfortable; he wanted to be in there with her and that negligee.

Harm went back out to the sofa and Mac lay in bed and smiled. She could hear visits from Mattie and Jen, with all sorts of excuses but primarily for the purpose of checking up on them. She closed her eyes and thought of Harm being in her bed last night and of all the times she lay in her own bed wishing it was Harm's. Now she was in his bed and he was out there on the sofa – it wasn't fair. Mac wanted him so badly and she knew from the kiss earlier on he felt the same way. She also knew her head was a mess and if they ever stood a chance she would have to sort it out first.

Mac listened to him toss and turn awhile longer and before getting up. She threw on one of his white shirts and sat quietly on the edge of the coffee table waiting for him to become aware of her presence. It didn't take long.

"Hey," he said when he first saw her. "You okay?"

She shrugged her shoulders - she honestly didn't know the answer.

He sat up and brushed the hair from her face. "What is it, Mac?"

"You, me, life, everything." She blinked back the tears blurring her vision.

"Just the minor things then, hey?" Harm replied, taking in the picture of sadness before him.

She smiled but her heart wasn't in it. She took a few deep breaths.

"Thank you," she said but she was looking at the floor.

"For what?" he raised her face so he could see her eyes.

"For today. For last night. For …" The tears began to fall. She wanted to stop but her heart told her to go on. "Things obviously haven't been too good for me lately. I think I gave you a brief recap last night. I've lost so much and somewhere in it all I think I've lost myself." He held onto her hands, desperately wanting to ease her pain. "I have made some huge mistakes and I don't want to make anymore. I just couldn't cope."

"What mistakes?" Harm could have told her that Simon and Webb were mistakes but he wanted it to come from her.

"You!" she replied simply.

"How have I been a mistake?" He was genuinely shocked.

"That kiss today…" Mac began.

"I'm so sorry, it's just…" Harm interjected to apologise.

"No, don't apologise. I wanted it. I've wanted it for so very long. My mistake though, well one of them, was Paraguay. I should never have said never to us. I didn't mean it and I've regretted it since the moment it was out of my mouth," Mac said, she entwined her fingers with his.

"So, what are you saying?" Harm asked quietly.

"I'm saying…" she paused and took a breath. "I'm saying I think you and I are worth a shot, it could work."

He reached up and caressed her face; they were words he had been longing to hear. However, he also knew there would be a 'but'.

"But…" he said giving her the lead in.

"But I need to clear my head. It is pretty chaotic in there and I don't want to destroy the future by not dealing with the past. Do you understand?" she asked, a look of desperate hope in her eyes.

"Yes, I do. I can be there for you and wait for us," Harm replied, kissing the back of her hand.

"Can you? Can you be here for me now and when I come through the other side? Can you wait for…for us?" Mac asked nervously.

"Mac, I can do anything for you. You know that, don't you?" He replied, his famous flyboy grin planted on his face.

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"Can I do anything for you now?" he asked, ready to start immediately.

"Well, can you come to bed and just hold me?" she asked shyly, she didn't want to need him so much, she just couldn't help it.

"It would be my pleasure, Mac." And for the second night in a row they slept entwined.

---jag---

Mattie walked into Harm's apartment just after 0900 and smiled when she saw the empty sofa. She hoped Harm had gotten his act together. She was smiling to herself and about to leave when Harm came in through the door. "What are you smiling about, Mattie?"

"I was just wondering where you were." She looked at the sofa.

"Getting ready for the picnic," he replied.

"Oh. Did Mac sleep well?" Mattie asked.

"Yes, Mattie," he answered firmly.

"Did Mac…" she began again.

"Enough with the Mac questions, Mattie." Harm cautioned. "Are you and Jen ready?"

"Yep, whenever you are?" she replied, leaving her unanswered questions for another time.

"Alright, Mac and I will take my car so we can go on to the office. You go with Jen?" he directed.

"Give me to the babysitter, hey?" She saw the look on his face. "I know enough already."

The four enjoyed a picnic by a small creek in the grounds of a huge estate. The weather had stayed fine and they had followed the food by a walk around the extensive gardens. Jen and Mattie had walked on ahead and Jen was glad to see Mac slip her hand into Harm's when she turned around. She didn't mention it to Mattie; she thought she'd give them their privacy.

The picnic ended all too soon as Mac and Harm went into the office. The budget review was tedious and Sturgis made every effort to keep the meeting professional and moving along as fast as possible. He had his own plans for the evening and it didn't involve stipends, debits or ledgers.

Nearing 1800 he declared the task finished and sent them on their way.

"Do you want to grab some dinner?" Harm asked as he drove Mac out to her place.

"No, that pizza Sturgis got in did the trick. Anyway, I have got some reading to do for tomorrow that has been somewhat neglected this weekend. Can I get a raincheck?" she asked.

"You certainly can," he grinned.

Harm walked Mac up to her door and stood there as she entered the apartment. "Do you want a drink or something before you go?"

"No, besides you have that reading to get too," Harm said.

"Harm, I know I said this last night but thank you," Mac said, her heart filled with genuine gratitude.

"You're welcome. Are you going to be alright tonight? Are you going to sleep okay?" he asked, still concerned about her wellbeing.

"Yeah, I think I am. I finally have a reason to look ahead and get through this." She smiled reassuringly.

"If you need…" he started.

"You will be the first person I call," she finished his sentence.

"Ok!" He kissed her cheek. "Good night, Mac." He turned to leave and although she knew it was for the best she found it hard to see him go.

"Harm," Mac called. He spun around. "You have given me so much this weekend." He looked puzzled. "You have given me a sense of purpose, a sense of hope and the comforting thought that, at the end of this …this…this thing that is my life right now, there is the promise of you, the promise of us. That's so much and I've given you nothing…"

"That's not true," Harm corrected her. "You gave me you, what more could I want? And I can wait as long as it takes."

"Well, I'll give you this and only hope that it'll tide you over and that the wait won't be too long."

She took his hands and pulled him to her. She kissed him gently and tenderly and when he responded in kind she threw her arms around his neck, trying not to hang on for dear life. She felt his hands dance across her back before wrapping around her completely. The kiss became very intense and passionate. When she drew back, breathless, she looked into his eyes. They reflected the love she felt for him.

"Thank you, Sarah." It didn't seem to have the appropriate amount of gratitude for what she had just given him but he was at a loss for words. The woman he loved had just given him the most amazing gift. It was the promise of a future together. In her words: the promise of us.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having fun.**_

_**This ff takes place after Retrial (Season 10). Mac has dealt with the bigamy case and is upset with what Bud's client has said to her. **_

_**------------------------------------------------------Promises----------------------------------------------------------------**_

_**AN: takes place 3 months after the last chapter. Mac has spent her time reflecting on the past and is coming to terms with all that had happened. Harm has been away on many out of office investigations and a short TAD to the Seahawk.** _

_**Thanks to SpecKay for all her encouraging reviews.**  
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Sturgis was grateful a new JAG would be announced the following Monday and his time behind 'The Admiral's desk' would be complete. Whilst he had appreciated the honour and kudos associated with being acting JAG, the long hours and the tough decisions bore out the adage that it is indeed lonely at the top.

He sat back in the soft leather chair and surveyed the office. _One day _he thought _I could do this but for now I would rather be practising law than administration. _Sturgis had been pleased with his efforts but it had nearly cost him his friendship with Harm several times. It was a friendship he did not want to lose – not after twenty years.

It was late Friday afternoon when Sturgis phoned Verese. She had also been busy of late with a string of appearances across the country but she would be returning home tomorrow. Verese was to perform at the Delaney Huntington Foundation Ball, a very old and respected charity fundraising event to be attended by high society. Sturgis would be accompanying her and the thought of mingling with celebrities excited him, though he'd never admit it to anyone. Their phone call was cut short by other pressing matters but Verese managed to tell him she had two spare guest tickets if he wanted to bring some friends along.

Sturgis sat and thought about it. He didn't have too many friends to choose from and it was such short notice. Then it dawned on him, Harm and Mac. They hadn't spent too much time together lately; it would do them both good. Sturgis was continually frustrated that two so-called intelligent people who loved each other, wouldn't or couldn't admit to it.

He went out and found Harm in his office.

"Hey Buddy, glad I caught you. You doing anything tomorrow night?" Sturgis asked, dropping into the chair across from Harm.

"No, don't think so. What's up?" he asked, placing his pen on the pad below.

"I have one spare ticket to the Delaney Huntington Ball for tomorrow night. Thought you'd like to come," Sturgis offered, tossing the ticket onto the desk.

"Delaney Huntington, wow! " Harm exclaimed. "Verese stand you up?"

"No, Verese will be there, she's singing. She got hold of the ticket and thought of you. It's black tie, ultra swish but I think we'll get by with our Class A's. Interested?" he asked, hoping he could pull this off.

"Yeah, thanks." Harm picked up the ticket.

"1900, I'll pick you up on the way through," Sturgis suggested.

"Thanks Sturgis, I appreciate it,' Harm smiled, pleased their friendship seem to have reached solid ground again.

"Just do me a favour Harm," Sturgis added, as he stood to leave. "Don't mention it to anyone. I don't want to be seen playing favourites."

"Deal!" Harm grinned.

On his way home, Sturgis took a detour past Mac's. He decided against phoning first.

"Sturgis!" Mac was surprised to see him at her door. "What's wrong?"

"Something have to be wrong, Mac?" Sturgis replied as he walked past her and into the apartment.

"Well, you didn't call and I don't remember you ever just coming by," Mac said, gesturing to the sofa.

Sturgis shook his head, he wouldn't be here long. "Yeah, look nothing's wrong but something has come up."

Sturgis then produced the ball ticket and gave Mac the same line as he had Harm, carefully neglecting to mention Harm at all. He was delighted when she accepted – his plan was coming together.

"There'll be a car to pick you up. I'd do it myself but Verese needs to be there early," Sturgis explained.

"It's okay, Sturgis, I can get myself there," Mac protested.

"No Mac, it's all part of the service. Verese says arriving in style is all part of the evening and we both know whatever Verese says goes. I'll see you there about 1930," he said, heading back to the door.

"Sturgis thanks," Mac said before every girl's dilemma struck her. "God, what will I wear?"

"I'm wearing my Class A uniform, on Verese's request, but I suggest you go and get yourself a spectacular gown and you can be Belle of the Ball," Sturgis answered. "I think Verese is wearing blue."

**Saturday**

**Linton Manor**

At 1900, Sturgis, Verese and Harm arrived at Linton Manor, the exquisite venue for the evening's festivities. The theme was spring and the house was adorned with stunning floral bouquets. Harm was very impressed by it all.

Verese spoke to a few people on the way in as she led the men to their table. They had been positioned at the front near the stage and away from the door. Sturgis kept checking his watch; praying Mac hadn't changed her mind.

"You got somewhere you need to be?" Harm asked.

"No, just anxious for the proceedings to begin. Verese is debuting a new song she wrote… well, for me," Sturgis replied, the embarrassment in his voice, mixing with pride.

"That's terrific. I'm glad to see things are going so well for you both," Harm grinned, glad things were progressing for one of them.

"And for you? What's happening in that department?" Sturgis asked.

"Nothing at the moment," Harm replied, taking a long drink from his glass.

"Have you spoken to Mac about your feelings yet?" he pried, hoping he'd done something as far as Mac was concerned.

"Ah, not quite," he answered. True they had made a promise to each other but they hadn't really done the 'talking about feelings' thing.

"What are you waiting for, man?" Sturgis said exasperated.

"We have an understanding. I'm just giving her some time," Harm explained. "The events between Paraguay and the Admiral's departure had a huge impact on her and to top it off she had some bad medical news that we've been dealing with. She needs to sort things out before anything further happens."

"I'm sorry buddy, I didn't mean to…well, I didn't know. Is she going to be okay?" Sturgis was beginning to think he'd made a big mistake.

"Yeah, Mac's doing much better with everything. She's dealing with the past and now she needs to get on with life,' Harm said, a smile on his face.

"Great," replied Sturgis with a huge sigh of relief.

It had gone 1930, the house lights were turned down and the Master of Ceremonies came on stage. He introduced himself as Thomas Huntington, grandson of Delaney and welcomed all. Thomas explained to the hushed gathering the Foundation's efforts in the previous year and what was planned for the coming one. He also encouraged all present to continue to be the generous benefactors they had always been. Harm laughed to himself, he knew the cheques made out that night would far exceed his annual salary.

Thomas introduced Verese to open the ball. Verese took to the stage and sang the most beautiful love song Harm had ever heard. She sang about a love that was long awaited, a love that was true, a love that made her complete. At the end of it, Harm wanted to stand and exclaim 'Halleluiah!'. Instead he remained in his chair and applauded along with the rest of the appreciative audience. He looked at Sturgis and he could see where the tears had trickled down his face. Harm could see how full of pride and how full of love he was. He was happy for his friend.

The night continued and other performers took to the stage. Entrée had been served and cleared but Mac still hadn't arrived. Sturgis checked his watch again and then excused himself to make a phone call. Harm was surprised at first, thinking Sturgis was a fool to think anything was more important than spending every possible minute with Verese. However, Verese knew what was happening and reassured Harm telling him the phone call was on her behalf.

Sturgis went out into the foyer and had just dialled Mac's number when he felt her hand on his arm.

"Sorry Sturgis, the limo was great except for the flat tyre and the road works," Mac said, the relief of finally being there evident on her face.

"Well, at least you are here. Can I take your wrap?" Sturgis asked, stretching out his hand.

Mac peeled off a long black wrap and handed it to Sturgis. He stood dumbstruck.

"Sturgis is something wrong? Isn't the dress right?" she began to panic.

Sturgis looked at the spectacular red ball gown that fell off her shoulders and cascaded down to the floor.

"God no, Mac – it's gorgeous. You're gorgeous." He couldn't quite get his thoughts in line. "You'll definitely be Belle of the Ball," Sturgis added.

"I wish Harm was here," she said under her breath.

"Shall we go in?" Sturgis offered her his arm and escorted her in.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having fun. Song's not mine either – if you don't know it, check it out on Youtube - Lady in Red - Chris de Burgh, it's a beautiful song worth listening too.  
**_

_**This ff takes place after Retrial (Season 10). Mac has dealt with the bigamy case and is upset with what Bud's client has said to her. **_

_**Thanks to Janlaw…I appreciate all the conversations we have **_

_**---------------------------------------------------------Promises----------------------------------------------------**_

Harm had his back turned to the entrance, talking to Verese, and failed to see Mac's entrance.

"Oh, Sturgis dear, you're back," Verese said causing Harm to turn around.

"About t…" he began but on seeing Mac he was speechless. He watched her come closer. She appeared just as stunned to see him. Sturgis patted her arm, "Wishes can come true," he whispered into her ear.

Harm stood up as they got to the table.

"Good evening Harm, Verese. Thank you so much for inviting me, Verese," Mac greeted them.

"My pleasure, Sarah," Verese replied, more than happy to see her.

Harm continued to stand, blocking her chair.

"Harm, are you okay?" Mac said quietly.

"Ah ha," he said without moving, his eyes twice their normal size, and mouth still open.

"Harm, how about you let the lady sit down," Sturgis suggested.

"Oh, uh, yeah, sorry Sarah." He pulled out her chair and Mac sat down. She couldn't have gotten a better reaction from Harm had she planned it. She had begun to think he may have gotten impatient waiting for her but his intense staring told the truth.

The music started and Verese and Sturgis got up to dance, as did other couples from their table. Mac waited for a few minutes for Harm to ask her but he didn't. Two gentlemen from nearby tables came to ask her but she declined.

"Don't you want to dance, Sarah?" he finally asked.

"Only with you," she replied quietly.

Harm led her to the dance floor and held her closely. He wasn't sure if he was actually dancing – he felt as if he was floating. The music changed to a quicker tempo and Mac moved back from him and responded to the music. Her brilliant red dress swished and swirled around the dance floor and caught the eye of many men there that night, but she only cared about one.

When the music slowed again, Harm felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me, Commander, I'd like this dance. May I Colonel?" Sturgis interrupted.

Although Mac only wanted Harm's arms around her she couldn't say no to Sturgis, especially after all the effort he had gone to. She moved into his arms.

"Thank you Sturgis," she said, looking up at him.

"You're welcome, Mac," Sturgis replied, finally comfortable with his relationship with her.

"If ever I can repay you…" she began.

"Well, there is something, Mac," he interrupted.

"Name it!" Mac smiled at him curiously, Sturgis never asked for things in return.

"Love is a wonderful thing and you love Harm, don't you?" he asked as he spun her around.

"You know I do. I told you once," she whispered, making sure no one else heard them.

"I know but that was years ago. Are you still in love with him?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Then tell him."

Mac simply nodded and their dance continued.

Harm had been dancing with Verese at the time.

"Harm, you've said virtually nothing since Sarah arrived," she said as he led her around the dance floor.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. It's just…" Harm felt the colour rising in his cheeks.

"No, I think it's delightful," she grinned.

"Delightful?" Harm echoed.

"Yes, Harm. You are so in love with that woman that she took your breath away. You can't believe that anyone can be that beautiful and be in your arms, right?" Verese said, locking eyes with him to ensure he wouldn't lie to her.

"Um, er….right." Harm nodded.

"Well, Harmon Rabb Junior, she is real and you need to tell her," she prompted.

"We're just waiting," admitting Harm.

"Waiting, for what? I've seen her look at you, and not just tonight, she's a woman in love. I should know - we're in the same club." Verese twirled around.

Harm smiled, Verese was right. He needed to tell Mac and he needed to tell her tonight.

"Verese, can you help me out?" he asked, his plan forming.

"Certainly Harm, anything for true love."

Dinner was served and for once Mac ate very little. Harm kept staring at her, hadn't called her Mac once and she was beginning to feel self-conscious. Eventually she excused herself and went to the bathroom, Verese followed.

"Sarah, everything okay?" she asked.

"I don't know Verese, Harm is acting very …very differently," Mac admitted.

"Haven't you ever seen him in love?" Verese asked.

"Yes I have. There was Jordan and Renee and …" she began.

"No Sarah, I mean truly, completely, deeply in love – with you?" Verese asked.

Mac shook her head. "Well, that man out there has his head spinning. He doesn't actually believe you're real. He wants you, wants to tell you but thinks he has to wait," she explained quietly.

"He told you all this?" Mac asked in surprise.

"He doesn't have too, it's all quite obvious," Verese chuckled.

"Obvious? Why didn't I see it?" she asked, nervously.

"That's because true love is blind, dear."

They walked out of the bathroom and Verese nodded to the band, Mac didn't notice. She saw Harm move to the middle of the empty dance floor and she sat down, facing Harm, on the chair Sturgis had pulled out for her. Verese went to the stage, took a microphone and handed it to Harm. She went back onto the stage to provide back up vocals. Harm wiped his hands on his pants, his sweaty palms and shaking hands were making the microphone jitter about.

The pianist began and so did Harm.

_I've never seen you looking so lovely as you do tonight  
I've never seen you shine so bright  
I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance  
They're looking for a little romance  
Given half a chance  
And I've never seen that dress you're wearing  
Or the highlights in your hair  
That catch your eyes  
I have been blind_

_CHORUS_  
_ The lady in red is dancing with me_  
_ Cheek to cheek_  
_ There's nobody here_  
_ It's just you and me_  
_ It's where I wanna be_

_But I hardly know this beauty by my side_

_I'll never forget the way you look tonight_

_I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you do tonight  
I've never seen you shine so bright you are amazing  
I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side  
And when you turned to me and smiled it took my breath away  
And I have never had such a feeling, such a feeling  
Of complete and utter love, as I do tonight_

_CHORUS_

_I never will forget the way you look tonight  
The lady in red  
My lady in red_

As Harm sung the chorus for the second time he held out his hand and Mac went to him. He spun her about and then held her to him, his movements reflecting the lyrics. When the pianists last notes had been drowned out by applause Harm put his arms around her.

"Sarah, I can't wait anymore. God, I love you."

"Harm, I love you too." There was another round of applause. Their most private moment had been overheard by a roomful of strangers due to Harm's positioning of the microphone. When Mac realised she burst out laughing.

"God, I'm stupid," he chastised himself. "Everything was so perfect, you are so beautiful, the song matched and I ruined it."

"It was a beautiful song, very touching. It's something I'll always remember," she caressed his face. "But, it wasn't perfect."

She saw the hurt look in his eyes. "No, no. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I meant that it was perfect, it just wasn't complete."

"What did I forget?" he asked quietly.

"This!"

Mac leaned in and kissed him. Their last kiss three months ago in her doorway had made him see fireworks, this time galaxies exploded. Harm kissed her with such an intense passion that surprised even him. Mac, for her part, was just as passionate. The kiss was becoming a long one and although Sturgis had been feeling triumphant at this coming together the length of the kiss was beginning to embarrass him. No one else seemed to mind.

To hide his increasing discomfort, Sturgis signalled Verese to start singing. So she did and more couples took to the dance floor. In amongst the dancing, Harm and Mac stood locked in their passionate embrace. To them the rest of the world didn't exist. It was just Harm, Mac and the promise of forever.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having fun. **_

**AN: This was written prior to A Whole New Ballgame and I have taken many liberties with military protocol (It's the only way to write ff.) So apologies in advance.**

**Usually I dedicate each chapter to someone and this time it's a bit different. Very recent events have clearly demonstrated that life is very short and very precious. We never know what will befall us and we have to live life to the fullest. **

**Take time to love, take time to live, take time to laugh. **

**There are 4 chapters left in this story and they are dedicated to my dear friend MarineMom. You have my prayers and deepest sympathy, love you lots!!!**

_**---------------------------------------------------------------------Promises------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

The magical kiss they had shared only moments before brought with it a sense of wonder and awe, in that kiss they had shared their passion but more importantly it cemented their declaration of love. A new singer appeared on stage and began singing, "What a Wonderful World." Harm and Mac slowly swayed with the music, for them it truly was a wonderful world.

Halfway through the song Harm felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me Harm," Sturgis said formally.

Without turning around Harm replied, "I'm sorry, Sturgis, this dance is all mine. You can't cut in."

"I don't want to cut in guys, the SecNav does," he answered.

"The SecNav?" asked Mac as they swung around to face him. "Is he here?"

"No, he rang. It seems the proverbial has hit the fan in regards to the new JAG and he wants us in his office ASAP," Sturgis explained.

"You've got to be kidding!" Harm couldn't believe their luck. It had taken eight years to declare their love and now instead of spending the night together they'd have to spend it with the SecNav.

"Unfortunately not, buddy. Could be worse though," he added.

"How?" asked Mac sharing Harm's disappointment.

"He could have called twenty minutes ago, before …" Sturgis' voice trailed.

"Well, yeah," Harm conceded looking at Mac. "Could have been."

The three said their goodbyes and on Verese's insistence took Mac's limo. As they approached Sturgis went to get in the front seat.

"Where are you going, Sturgis?" Mac asked.

"I'm sitting up front," he replied.

"Aren't you supposed to sit in the back of a limo?" asked Harm.

"Yes buddy, but I thought you two might like some privacy. It's at least a forty minute trip and I'm sure you could put the time to good use." He smiled and got into the front.

Harm and Mac climbed into the back and watched the driver activate the privacy shield. Harm felt incredibly nervous, it had been a long time since he had made out with anyone in the back of a car. Mac was experiencing similar feelings. As the limo pulled out of the car park they sat in an uncomfortable silence. Harm finally broke it.

"Sarah, did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight? For the first time in my life I was left completely speechless. You honestly took my breath away," he admitted shyly.

Mac blushed. "Thank you," she replied coyly.

He moved forward and kissed her gently and then moved back.

"Sarah, I love you so very much," he whispered.

"I love you too, Harm," she whispered in reply.

"Do you know how much?" he asked, his fingers dancing across her face.

"Yes, I do," she replied moving closer to him.

"How do you know?" he asked, closing his eyes and inhaling her scent.

"The only time you ever call me Sarah is when you are experiencing such intense emotions that you struggle to find words. That's all you have called me tonight." She ran her fingers through his hair. She paused momentarily. "Thank you for waiting for me." She gently kissed his cheek.

"Do you need more time?" Harm asked. "I know tonight was Sturgis' doing and if you…"

Mac put her finger to his lips. "Let me finish. Thank you for waiting for me. You have been so very kind and considerate and caring over the last three months and I couldn't have gotten through it all without you." He smiled. "But…" His smile faded – nothing good followed a 'but'. Mac saw his concern and put her hands to his face.

"No, no," she knew what he was thinking. "I was going to say – but for the last few weeks I've been wanting to come to you and tell you the waiting was over but I didn't know how to do it."

"You could have come to me and said 'Harm the waiting's over'," he said grinning at her.

"True, but I think Sturgis did it much better for us," she whispered, her lips hovering near his.

"Remind me to thank him later," he said taking Mac in his arms and kissing her.

It was only when Sturgis partially lowered the privacy shield and yelled that they were nearly there the pair came up for air. They sat up and readjusted their clothing. Mac wiped her lipstick from Harm's lips and straightened his tie. Harm pushed Mac's hair back to where it had started and by the time they stepped out of the limo no one would have suspected the last thirty minutes had been one long kiss, no one except Sturgis, of course.

Mac, Harm and Sturgis stood in front of a very unhappy SecNav. The promotions board for the new JAG had spent numerous hours interviewing and reviewing candidates and had come up with a shortlist. From this, they had re-interviewed and called in referees. After a long and arduous task they had decided upon the new JAG, Admiral Russell Carpenter. Harm and Mac knew him by reputation only, whilst Sturgis had worked with him once, many years before.

"Admiral Carpenter has an excellent reputation, sir. I believe that's a very good choice," Harm said, still confused as to why the trio had been summoned, given as the decision was made and the announcement would be made in less than forty eight hours.

"Thank you for your support Commander," the SecNav said coldly, "unfortunately it has proved to be an untimely choice. Admiral Carpenter passed away this afternoon from a cardiac arrest. It was very sudden."

"So, what now?" asked Mac, not seeing where they came into the picture.

"Well, Commander Turner has been doing an excellent job and if we are to go through this whole promotions board again he could be doing it for another six months," the SecNav informed them.

Sturgis shook his head. He would do it if asked but he didn't want the job.

"What do you need us here for?" Harm asked growing impatient.

"Here are the files of the other five short-listed candidates. It includes everything from the interviews, their profiles, their applications, references and so on. Everything you could possibly need to select a new JAG, without them actually being here," said the SecNav.

"Us, sir?" asked Mac.

"Yes you. I want the three of you to review the files and rank them in order of preference. When you're done I will compare them with the panel's recommendations. I've called them all this evening and they are happy to go along with this, especially if it means not having to reconvene the panel at this stage. We'll appoint an Acting JAG, again, and formalise the process in due course."

"Are you sure?" asked Harm.

"Look, you will all be working with whoever is selected. At least this way you get some input," the SecNav replied, his frustration evident.

Sturgis picked up the files. "Ok sir, when do you want us to get back to you?"

"I'll give you a couple of hours and see how close you are to a decision. You can use the conference room down the hall." The SecNav gestured to the doorway.

"Now," said Harm incredulously.

"Yes, now. Have you got something you'd rather be doing?" he asked, eyebrow raised daring someone to answer him.

Harm looked at Mac and then at Sturgis. There was no right answer, so he gave none.

Sturgis led them into the darkened room and flicked the switch. "Sorry guys, I know this is not the way you'd like to be spending tonight. So let's just wrap this up ASAP."

"Sounds good to me," replied Mac.

"Ditto," said Harm.

After nearly three hours of reading, reviewing and arguing, they had finalised their list.

Gordon Cresswell

Abigail Watson

Charles Carney

Donald Morton

Allison Krennick

Mac had been adamant about Krennick. Now that Harm was hers she wasn't going to let anyone come between them, especially someone who had already made open and forthright advances towards him. Plus, she argued, her qualifications didn't match up to the rest of the field.

When the SecNav rejoined them he carefully reviewed their list. Choices 1, 4 and 5 were perfect matches, with only 2 and 3 being reversed. He called the other panellists and the selection process was over. Colonel Gordon Cresswell was to be the new Acting JAG while the board reconvened.

The SecNav looked at his watch.

"It's 0147," said Mac before he could read it.

"How did you know that Colonel?" he asked.

"It's one of my many talents, sir," she replied stifling a yawn.

"Amazing. Quite like that dress you have on," he replied.

"Thank you, sir," Mac answered smiling at Harm.

"Well, I'll call General Cresswell in the morning. Thank you for you input. Good night."

The limo had gone after dropping them off and so taxis were called. Sturgis was given the first one and Harm and Mac stood in the building's entrance waiting for theirs to arrive.

"So," Harm began. "Where to now?"

"I think," said Mac putting her hands around his waist, "that I would like to take you back to my place."

"Would you just?" he replied, nuzzling his face into her neck.

"Yes, I would." She pulled on his shirt front, keeping him close to her.

"And what would you like to do with me there?" He whispered into her ear.

"Oh, many, many, many things Harm." She moved to kiss him but the taxi tooted and she broke away.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having fun. **_

_**This ff takes place after Retrial (Season 10). Mac has dealt with the bigamy case and is upset with what Bud's client has said to her. **_

**The remaining chapters in this story are dedicated to my dear friend MarineMom. You have my prayers and deepest sympathy, love you lots!!!**

_**----------------------------------------------------------------Promises------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

They walked into Mac's apartment and she offered Harm a drink. He shook his head; there was nothing else he wanted except Mac. Mac turned on the stereo on and decreased the volume; it had already gone three. Harm stayed standing in the middle of the floor. He didn't want to assume anything, he didn't want to appear too eager and he didn't want her to think he'd changed his mind. So, he just stood and waited.

Mac made her way to the bedroom and Harm just watched. She turned back and smiled at him.

"Are you coming or not?" she asked. Not the most seductive invitation he'd had but it was all the incentive he needed. He followed her into the bedroom and turned on the lights.

"Don't tell me you're scared of the dark, Flyboy," she teased.

"No, I just want to see you, Sarah. You are so beautiful and …" his voice trailed.

Mac flicked the switch and lit a small lamp. "Well, I'll let you have this one on, it's far more flattering."

He drew her close and was glad to find her heart was racing just as quickly as his. He kissed her for what felt like an eternity, before she stopped him.

"Something wrong, Sarah?" he asked concerned.

"Is that all you want to do? Kiss me?" she asked unbuttoning his shirt.

"No, I want to …I want to…" But again his words failed him.

"What?" she asked quietly. His shirt was on the floor and his trousers were about to join it.

"I want to be with you," he whispered.

She turned around. "Unzip me."

Harm's hands were shaking as he pulled down the zip exposing her smooth skin. The dress dropped to the floor and revealed matching red lingerie. Mac was very glad she had decided to purchase them at the last minute.

She turned back to Harm and led him towards the bed. They sat down on the bed and she reached up and kissed him. He responded. After a few minutes it occurred to Harm that things weren't progressing and he wasn't sure as to whether this was by design or something else. He drew back from Mac and tried to read her face, was she truly ready for this?

"Sarah, is this what you want? Do you want, need, to wait?" he asked quietly, willing to give her all the time she needed, praying she didn't need it.

She shook her head. "I don't need to wait, it's just…"

"Just what?" He caressed her cheek as fear danced on her face.

"I'm so scared," she whispered.

"Of what?" he whispered in reply.

"Of this. You are the only man I have truly been _in_love with and I believe this is going to be forever. I'm so scared because I have spent my life running away from love, from you. I have been hurt so often that I didn't believe that this, feeling like this, was possible. I …" she stopped, tears trickling down her cheek.

"I'm so glad," Harm said, wiping away the tears.

"Why?" Mac was not expecting that response.

"Because I am absolutely terrified. I am struggling to find the words to express exactly how I feel but I do know that I too believe this is forever. It is overwhelming to think that there will only be us – after everything, all this time. But as scary as it may be, do you know what frightens me more?" he asked, his fingers running through her hair.

"No, what?" She shook her head.

"The thought that after kissing you tonight at the ball that I could not live without you. I don't even want to think about a life that you're not a part of. I'm not trying to be overdramatic but I never thought I could want somebody, need somebody, as much as I want and need you, Sarah MacKenzie," he answered, his words for once not failing him.

"Well, Harmon Rabb Junior, let's be scared together." She pulled him down to the bed and there began a long awaited night of passion.

The hours flew by, there was little need for words as both Mac and Harm let their actions do the talking. The build up of eight years working closely together, their previous shared kisses, the sexual tension that had always been unresolved and smouldering, the love they felt for each other for years but could never admit to all came pouring out.

When they finally decided to take a break dawn had well and truly broken.

Harm looked at the clock. "It's nearly nine," he said in amazement.

"What's your point?" Mac cooed.

"None really, it's just that we haven't been to sleep yet," he replied, running his fingers up her arm.

"Well, we have been in bed for five hours and thirty six minutes. Is it my fault you didn't sleep?" she asked rolling on top of him.

"Yes, I think it is, Sarah." He kissed her.

"I have no plans for today, do you?" she asked.

"Not for today but I do have to be home for dinner with Mattie and Jen at seven. Mattie leaves on her school trip tomorrow," Harm explained.

"Then by my calculations we have about ten hours, less travelling time, showering, dressing etc, we still have about eight hours to fill in," Mac grinned.

"Eight hours, hey?" Harm grinned back.

"You_could_use them to sleep if you want," Mac suggested.

"And what would you do with yourself if I did?" he asked playfully.

"I'd find away to occupy myself." And with that she slipped under the covers and introduced him to a whole new world of pleasure.

When Mac had finished and resurfaced, Harm rolled them both over.

"One good turn deserves another," he announced and set off on his own exploration of her body. After a long while he declared she was in fine shape and he was a fool to have left her alone so long. Mac moved into his arms, she was more than happy to spend every day like this, just the two of them and hours of incredible sex. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself. She was beginning to doze off when the phone rang.

"Damn," she said, "I should have taken it off the hook." It was 1445; she rolled over onto Harm to answer it. He didn't object and nuzzled her neck as she tried to talk.

"MacKenzie," she said trying not to laugh.

"Hi Mac, it's Mattie," she answered.

"Hi Mattie, what's up?" she asked casually. The mention of her name was enough to stop Harm.

"Is Harm there?" Mattie asked.

"Yes he is, I'll just…" she began.

"No, don't get him. Mac, Jen and I know about the ball last night and what Sturgis did, it was so romantic wasn't it?" Mattie said.

"Yes it was. How did…?" she began again.

"Sturgis rang Jen from the ball and said Harm sang to you and explained that her babysitting duties might need to be extended." Mattie's excitement was evident in her voice.

"He gave that as the reason?" Mac asked.

"No, said something about the SecNav but I told Jen it was more likely that he was busy with you." Mattie giggled.

"Did you just?" Mac didn't quite know how to respond.

"Well, you don't have to give me any details but are you…did you…?" Mattie started.

"Mattie, are you sure you don't want to speak to Harm. I'm sure he'll be happy to fill you in on the details," Mac said.

"No, he'll kill me. I just wanted to check up and see if you guys were, well, happy?" she asked.

"I can answer that," Mac grinned. "Yes!"

"That's great, now I can go off tomorrow a happy camper," Mattie laughed at her own joke. "One more thing, Mac. Can you come to dinner tonight - it's at six and …"

"I'd love to, Mattie," she replied.

"Anything else you_ love_ that we should know about?" Mattie pushed.

"Goodbye Mattie." Mac hung up the phone, the girl knew how to push a point.

"Didn't she want to talk to me?" Harm asked.

"No, she wanted to invite me to dinner?" Mac replied.

"And what else did she say? It wasn't all about dinner, was it?" he prompted.

"Well, essentially she wanted to know if we were in love and had we slept together," Mac said straight-faced.

"She what?" Harm's face reddened. "She didn't ask that specifically, did she? I'll kill her."

"She asked in a very roundabout, diplomatic way. She certainly has a way about her, doesn't she?" she giggled.

"That she does," Harm sighed, allowing himself to relax.

Mac rolled back to her side of the bed. "By the way, dinner's at six."

"I thought it was seven. Damn!" he said, shutting his eyes.

"What's wrong with six?" Mac asked, propping herself up on one elbow.

"It's three now. By the time we get up and showered and dressed and drive out, that'll take an hour and a half. That only leaves us ninety minutes here," he whined.

"Then make the most of it, Flyboy." And that's what he did.

When Mac and Harm arrived at his apartment for dinner, Jen was busy trying to keep a lid on Mattie's excitement. Jen had been hoping the Commander and Colonel would get together and she knew all the signs were promising, however she also knew they were both intensely private people and she didn't want Mattie spoiling anything that may be developing. She had pulled Mattie aside just before their arrival and told her to cool it and that if she wanted to be treated like an adult then she needed to show others the same respect.

Mattie took heed of this and Mac was surprised she was so subdued in comparison with the girl she had spoken to on the phone earlier that day. Harm went straight to his bedroom to change and Mac waited for the barrage of questions but instead she got quiet, polite conversation. Finally, it was Mac who couldn't wait any longer to share the news with someone.

"Well," she asked Mattie and Jen as they were standing in the kitchen. "Do you have anything you want to ask?"

They looked at each other. "Yes, but…" Mattie began.

"Yes, but what?" asked Mac.

"Jen said to give you two some privacy and not to ask a lot of questions," Mattie explained.

"That's excellent advice, Jennifer, but I don't mind, really," Mac said.

That opened the flood gates and the girls sat and chatted about the ball; the dress, the celebrities, the music, the food. Then Mac told them about Harm's song and the kiss. They were elated; this was more than they could have hoped for.

"Oh, that's so romantic," cooed Mattie.

"I'm so glad and if I may say so, it's about time too," Jen added.

"About time too for what?" asked Harm appearing from the bedroom.

The girls collapsed into fits of laughter and he never got an answer.

Dinner had been a delicious success but the events of the last twenty four hours had been catching up with Mac, she was exhausted. At eight, she declared herself worn out and stood to say her goodbyes. Mattie protested for awhile and then suggested she sleep over. Mac declined saying she needed to go home and sort out some paperwork and her uniform, after all the new JAG would be starting tomorrow and everything had to be perfect. Mattie decided to change her tack and so she asked Harm if he was taking Mac home.

"No, Mattie, Mac drove so I don't need to take her home. Besides, I thought we could spend some time together. I feel I've been neglecting you," he said.

"But wouldn't you rather…" she began but he decided to cut her off.

"I would rather you didn't push this," he said with a warning look.

"But Harm, I was just…" Mattie stopped.

"Just…?" Harm said impatiently.

"Just going to call it a night myself. I have to get an early night for tomorrow and Jen will be studying so you can't spend anytime with us and if you…" Mattie explained.

"Mattie, Mac's right. We both have paperwork and things that need doing. Thank you for your concern but…" Harm began.

"But you told me on Friday night and then yesterday afternoon that you had nothing to do for this weekend, that everything was in order for Monday. Did you lie?" she challenged him.

"No, but…"

"Alright, I know, Mattie enough. Just wait there."

Mattie left them and went into Harm's bedroom. In five minutes she returned with his briefcase, toiletries bag and uniform.

"Now, before you yell at me Harm and tell me to stop interfering, just listen to me." She waited for his response but getting none continued. "I want you to be happy, really happy. You have done so much for me and now it's time to do something for you. I know you love me and want the best for me and I want the same for you. You don't get these chances in life too often and you need to make the most of it. You two love each other…" she rambled.

"Who told you?" Harm cut her off.

"You told me you loved Mac and Mac told us about the kiss at the ball," Mattie said simply.

"You did?" he asked turning to Mac.

She just nodded.

"Anyway," Mattie continued, "I just want you to be happy." She kissed Harm and handed Mac his toiletries bag. "Just remember to send him back every now and then so we remember what he looks like." She kissed Mac.

"Just remember I'll be home next Friday night, I'd love to see you all then, if you can tear yourselves away from whatever it is you might be doing," Mattie called out as she left the apartment.

Harm looked at Mac and then at Jen. He wasn't to sure as to what to say. Jen made it easier for him. "Commander, Mattie's right, you don't need to be around here for a while. I can handle tonight and drop her off at school in the morning. I'm sure we'll cope. Anyway, I'm sure you'd like to be doing other things. Of course, that is if you going over to the Colonel's is alright with her. I don't think Mattie ever actually asked."

They both looked at Mac. "It more than alright with me and I don't think I could say no after everything that's gone on here tonight. The call is yours, Harm."

"Are you sure Jennifer?" he asked. She nodded. "In that case Marine, let's roll."

Back in bed at Mac's, Harm was enjoying the little striptease performance she was putting on for him. This was a ritual he could more than get used too. When she had shed all her clothing, she moved to Harm who was seated on the bed and began to remove his. He put up no resistance. Then she took her body lotion from the side table and put some on her hands. She slowly and thoroughly massaged it into his chest and abdomen. She had just reached for more lotion when he grabbed her hands and pulled her to him. He needed more than just the touch of her hands and that had become apparent to both of them the minute she had first touched him. Harm pulled her to him and then they rolled over, their eyes locked and they made love without moving their gaze.

After the second time, Mac declared they needed to get some sleep. It was going to do them some serious harm if they repeated the same endurance feat as the night before. She lay in Harm's arms and they drifted off into a peaceful and blissful slumber, one that was not that familiar to either of them. Harm awoke first and woke her with a kiss so passionate Mac first thought she was dreaming. As the reality dawned on her she took his face in her hands and responded warmly to it.

"Harm," she whispered, a twinkle in her eye, "we have half and hour before we need to get up."

"And?" he asked with a cheeky smile.

"And … I think I'd like to sleep." She watched for his reaction, his smile disappeared.

"Sleep?" he echoed.

"Can't think of anything else, can you?" she said, a cheek grin on his face.

"Yep." And he put his thoughts into practise.

They were both lying back in bed waiting for the buzzing of the alarm that would signal all that was new; the new day, the new working week, the new JAG and their new relationship. Instead of the alarm buzzing, the telephone rang and startled them. Early ringing phones usually didn't bring good news. It was Jennifer and Mac quickly passed the phone to Harm, she was relieved that the tone in his voice didn't signify trouble. He put the receiver back and kissed her.

"What did Jennifer want?" Mac asked.

"Seems that Mattie has a lift this morning from Susan's mother and Jen is not required. She offered to meet us at the front of Starbucks on Alphington at 0800 so she can drive me into work and not you. Thought we might like to keep this a secret for a while longer," he explained.

"God bless Jennifer," smiled Mac kissing Harm back.

They lay there for those precious last minutes, bodies entwined. Their love had been declared and consummated. Whatever life held for them beyond this point would have to be easier; they had done the hard part, that of achieving their destiny.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Two chapters to go**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having fun. **_

_AN: A month after the last chapter. Harm and Mac are more than enjoying the shift in their relationship. They are endeavouring to keep it quiet so their future could be decided by them and not the General._

**The remaining chapters in this story are dedicated to my dear friend MarineMom. You have my prayers and deepest sympathy, love you lots!!!**

_**-------------------------------------------------------------------Promises--------------------------------------------------------------------**_

Bud had known for a month that the relationship between the Colonel and the Commander had changed. There were the little telltale signs; the looks, the lingering touches they thought no one else had notice, the fact they weren't arguing. It was all adding up for Bud. Added to this he had noticed the Commander was frequently brought to work by Petty Officer Coates, and although that was nothing unusual on its own, Bud had seen the Commander get out of the Colonel's car two mornings that week in front of Starbucks and get into the Petty Officer's.

He had finally taken this information home to Harriet and she was very unhappy Bud hadn't told her straight away. A relationship between Harm and Mac was something she had longed for. Harriet thought the pair were perfectly suited and she wanted them to experience the same level of happiness she and Bud shared.

"I'll call and invite them for dinner," Harriet suggested but Bud said no. He wanted to make sure he wasn't misreading the signs first. He said he would look into it and find the truth.

Bud's search was short as the answer was dropped into his lap, or more accurately onto his leg, the next morning. The General had called a meeting in the conference room and Bud sat next to Mac, Harm and Sturgis sat across from them and the General was at the head of the table. The meeting was little more than an administrative requirement. The General was talking about budgets, policies and protocol and Bud was having a very difficult time concentrating. As he was busy making margin notes on the General's handouts, he felt a foot move up and down his leg. He looked up and saw Harm looking at Mac inquisitively, but she was oblivious to his actions. The meeting proceeded and Bud shifted several times in his chair but once again he felt the Commander's eager foot.

"Mr Roberts?" the General asked but Bud had missed the question entirely.

"Sorry Sir, can you please repeat the question?" he asked embarrassed.

The others laughed. "I said, 'Have a good day'."

"Oh, oh, yes sir," Bud replied. The General left and Bud was flustered, trying to put his notes in order.

"Bud, what's wrong?" Mac asked. But Bud was too embarrassed to answer.

"Oh, no." He shook his head and left.

Bud returned to his office and tried to put the morning behind him. He now knew for certain there was something between his two favourite officers but now he had to deal with speaking to them about it.

Harm came into his office and closed the door.

"Bud, you got a minute?" he asked.

"Yes sir, what do you need?" Bud asked, praying it was job related.

"The truth." Harm dropped himself into the visitor's chair.

"About?" he cringed.

"About?" Harm asked incredulously. "About your performance in the conference room, what's going on?"

"Nothing sir," Bud replied, there was nothing go on with _him_.

"Nothing, try again," Harm instructed.

"Commander, it's not something I care to discuss," Bud said becoming flustered again.

Mac came into the office and handed Harm a piece of paper. "Since you're coming over tonight to work on the Hiller case, can you pick these things up?"

"Sure," replied Harm. He looked at the paper and smiled. Mac left.

"Bud, I thought we were friends. I thought we could discuss anything," Harm resumed the conversation.

"So did I but obviously not," Bud replied.

"Bud, I'm not following – what is going on with you?" he asked frustrated.

"What's going on with you?" Bud retorted and then in a moment of bravery added, "with you and the Colonel?"

Harm stopped and stared at Bud. "How did you know?"

"Lot's of little things but this morning was a big giveaway," Bud admitted, dropping his head.

"What happened this morning?" Harm asked.

"The conference room," he stated, hoping he didn't have to be more specific.

"Yes," said Harm, unsure of where this was going. Bud blushed and tried to find the right words.

"Bud," Harm prompted. .

"Commander, let's just say it wasn't Colonel MacKenzie you were playing footsies with under the table," Bud said studying his desk top.

It was Harm's turn to blush. "Oh Bud, I'm so sorry. I...I…" But there was really nothing he could say.

"Now that we know for sure, Harriet would like me to invite you both to dinner one night," Bud said.

"I'm sure we would both love to come," Harm agreed.

"So, sir, is this it? Is it…" Bud's voice trailed.

"Bud, this is certainly it. We are in love, if you didn't already know, and we are both very happy." The smile on Harm's face said it all.

"We're very pleased for you and may I say it is about time too," Bud grinned.

"That seems to be the general consensus, Bud."

Harm went onto enquire as to how Bud knew and Bud reluctantly shared the knowledge he had acquired over the last month. He was embarrassed to discuss matters of an intimate nature with the Commander, not because he was a prude but because he didn't want to think of the Colonel in that way. It made him feel painfully uncomfortable. Harm could see that Bud felt out of his depth and decided to end the inquisition.

"Ok, dinner," Harm said, "When were you thinking?"

"I'll ring Harriet and she can get back to you with the details. The boys will love to see you," he said.

"Can't wait to see them either." Harm moved to the door knocking papers off Bud's desk and dropping Mac's note. He bent down to pick them up as too did Bud.

He picked up Mac's note and quickly saw it was a shopping list, he handed it to the Commander. "This is yours, I believe."

"Oh, yes, Mac's list," Harm grinned.

"Is the Colonel cooking?" Bud asked.

"Not as far as I know," he replied.

"But it's a list of ingredients: chocolate syrup, whipped cream, strawberries. She has to be making something," he said.

Harm knew what the list was for and he knew Bud felt ill at ease discussing things of a personal nature but he couldn't help himself.

"Bud, she's not making anything," he said.

"But sir, she must be," Bud pushed not knowing when to give up.

"Bud, did you read the note," Harm asked amused.

"Yes sir," he replied.

"Did you read it carefully?" He handed the note back to Bud.

"Yes sir, it says: Tonight the dessert's on me." He handed the note back.

"That's right!" Harm exclaimed.

"What is?" Bud confusion showed on his face.

"Bud, do I need to spell it out for you? Tonight – the – dessert's –_**on**_– me," Harm said slowly.

"Yes sir, it's on…" Harm saw the penny drop and Bud turn bright red. "Oh sir, that's too much information."

"You wanted to know, Bud," Harm grinned.

"You could have lied and told me it was a cherry sundae or something." Bud's face reddened.

"You wanted the truth."

"Well, sometimes I can't handle the truth." Harm walked out of the office in fits of laughter.

Dinner at the Roberts' had been scheduled for the Friday night and Harm and Mac were both looking forward to openly being a couple with their friends. True, they would be protected in the privacy of the Roberts' home but so far their time only opportunity to express their feelings had been confined to one of their apartments.

Harriet was so happy to see them, pregnant with twins and with two young children her days were being spent in a blur of nappies, school duties and feeling fat. In her wisdom, she had organised for the boys to be picked up by the babysitter an hour after Mac and Harm arrived. It would mean some quality time for the children and their friends and it would also give them a chance to have some uninterrupted time for the adults.

There were so many questions Harriet had been dying to ask and Bud had not been very forthcoming with answers. She had planned a simple dinner that would free her for the more important things, like talking. After the boys left and the dinner had been cleared Harriet started asking questions. She wanted to know the ins and outs of how they got together. Bud excused himself, this was knowledge he could do without. Harm followed Bud to the study and they switched on the game. They could hear the women laughing from the dining room.

Mac had been open and honest with Harriet, after all she was her closest female friend and it felt good to finally have something positive in her life to share. Harriet gushed over Mac's description of the ball and of Harm's song and that kiss. Harriet kept asking questions and Mac kept answering them, although she did withhold some of the more intimate details. She mentioned how they had "slept" together the first night without actually sleeping and how Mattie had sent them back the second night to do it all over again. Harriet was delighted.

The men stayed in the study, they thought it was far safer this way. Romance was one thing but talking about it was another thing entirely. "Sounds like they're having fun," commented Harm during the half time break.

"Yes sir, they're quite happy in there. I think it's just what Harriet needed. She's been so busy with the boys it doesn't leave her much time for other things," Bud said.

"We've been busy ourselves." Harm chuckled.

Bud rolled his eyes. He could imagine but he didn't want to. "Well sir, have yourself a few kids and you'll find things change."

Bud caught the expression on Harm's face as he said it. It was only fleeting look but Bud had seen it. Harm said nothing.

"Sir, I didn't mean anything by it. I just meant that one day if you and the Colonel…" he tried to apologise.

"It's okay, Bud. We'd love to have kids. We even have, had, a baby deal that if neither of us were in a relationship by the time little AJ was five, we'd have a baby of our own," Harm explained quietly.

"AJ's seven," Bud replied.

"Yeah, well we, um..." he trailed.

"It's okay, Harm. You don't need to explain," Bud said moving immediately into close friend mode.

"What it boils down to is that Sarah…" his voice trailed off.

"Is it serious, Harm? You called her Sarah," Bud had to ask.

Harm smiled, he'd have to work on his telltale sign or he'd never be able to play poker. "We've been told that Sarah is going to find it nearly impossible to conceive."

"Oh, I'm sorry. But nearly impossible is not impossible, there's still a chance, isn't there?" he asked.

"There's always a chance, Bud," Harm sighed. "I've learned never say never especially where Sarah MacKenzie is concerned."

"Especially where Sarah MacKenzie is concerned about what?" Mac asked coming into the study.

The men looked at each other. "Concerned about loving me," said Harm pulling her to him and sitting her on his lap. She kissed him quickly and said, "So don't tell me. Would either of you gentlemen like anything? Coffee? Tea? Me?" She said playfully to Harm.

"I'll have coffee," said Bud standing, "and I'll get it myself. You two look busy." He left them in a passionate embrace. Once again it was too much information.

_**One chapter to go**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them, just having fun. **_

_AN: Set months after the last chapter_

**Dedicated to my dear friend MarineMom. You have my prayers and deepest sympathy, love you lots!!!**

_**-------------------------------------------------------------Promises-----------------------------------------------------------------**_

Mac and Harm had enjoyed a romantic dinner to celebrate their five month anniversary. Harm had made reservations at The English Rose and surprised Mac with the news that evening while at work. They had spent more time apart than together in their short relationship and Harm wanted to ensure the evening was perfect. He slipped into her office late on the Thursday afternoon and whispered to her while she was on the phone.

"Be ready at 1930 we're going somewhere fancy."

She called after him but he had gone.

"What to wear? What to wear?" Mac said to herself as she rifled through her closet. She picked out several dresses and combination outfits but none of them said fancy. In desperation she rang Harm to try and get more information but he was of no help. He would only say that they were going to somewhere as special as she was.

"Awww, how sweet," she responded, "but you're no help."

"I'd love you in anything, Mac," he replied.

"Would you just?"

Mac had showered, hoping the refreshing water would clarify the choice of outfit for her. It was to no avail. She had narrowed her choice down to three and laid them out on the bed. She covered her body in lotion and slipped on her underwear, lacy black, the type Harm loved. When the clock showed 1930, Mac had still made no decision.

"Well, Harmon Rabb," she said to herself, "if you'd love me in anything, I bet you'll love me in nothing." She slipped on her robe and waited for Harm's arrival.

For once, Harm was on time. He let himself in. "Wow Mac, nice robe!"

"I thought so," she smiled.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Nearly but I can't decide what to wear, I've narrowed it down to four," she explained.

"Four?" His eyebrows nearly hit his hairline.

"Well, I can wear this," she said as she tslipped off her robe, "but I think it would be a bit too chilly."

"I wouldn't object," Harm grinned.

"I bet you wouldn't."

"And the other three?" he asked his eyes still locked on her body.

"Come with me to the bedroom." She took his hand.

He sighed deeply. "I've been waiting to hear those words all day."

Finally dressed in a short black dress, Mac and Harm sat in a little nook at The English Rose. The evening was perfect, the food was excellent, the music was beautiful and the company entertaining. The candlelight flickered and cast shadows across Harm's face; Mac sat and gazed longingly into his eyes. He had the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen, they were the first thing she had noticed about him on the day they met in the Rose Garden. Due to various investigations, trials and assignments, they had not spent a lot of time together in recent times. Both knew that their relationship could stand the separation but neither of them wanted it that way. Decisions would have to be made and made soon especially as the General had given them several strong hints lately.

Later that evening, in bed after enjoying the delights of being together, Mac snuggled down next to Harm exhausted.

"I love you so much," she mumbled into his chest.

"I love you too, Sarah," he replied kissing her head.

"What do you want to do now?" she asked.

"Sleep first. Then I think we should get married," he whispered.

"Sounds good to me," and she drifted off to sleep.

It had just gone four when Mac awoke in excruciating pain. "Oh, God," she yelled and then hit Harm across the chest. He stirred but didn't wake.

"Harm, wake up. Oh God," she screamed, hitting him again.

This time Harm was wide awake. "What is it?" he said kneeling beside her as she writhed in pain. She tried to answer but found it too difficult. He called 911 and the short wait for the paramedics felt like an eternity.

By the time they had arrived at the hospital the pain had not abated.

"Severe abdominal pain, upper right quadrant," said the paramedic to the attending physician. He then went onto to list all the signs and symptoms. None of which seemed to explain the true nature of the pain Mac was experiencing. The paramedics had suggested possible appendicitis but the doctor's questioning soon indicated another possibility.

"Colonel is there any chance you could be pregnant?" the doctor asked.

Harm interrupted to explain Mac's condition and the unlikelihood of pregnancy.

After more tests were conducted and an ultrasound completed, the doctor had the results.

"Colonel, Commander, I have news for you. It appears you are having an ectopic pregnancy."

"Ectopic pregnancy? Am I miscarrying?" asked Mac.

"Yes and No. An ectopic pregnancy is when the foetus starts to develop in the fallopian tube and not in the uterus. We will need to operate now and remove it before the tube ruptures completely."

When Mac awoke from the anaesthetic she searched the room through glazed eyes for Harm. She tried to focus on the objects around her but to no avail.

"Harm," she called out weakly, her hand searching for his.

"Sarah, I'm right here." He stood beside her bed and kissed her forehead. She reached up to wipe away a tear that was on his cheek.

"I'm okay, Harm. It's okay," she whispered.

"I know," he whispered back and bent down and kissed her lips.

Mac fell asleep and Harm sat down again and watched her.

Three days later when Mac was due to be discharged she sat quietly in her room waiting for Harm. She was looking forward to going home but she realised she and Harm had not actually discussed the reason why she was in hospital. They had sought comfort in each others arms but the baby was not discussed. Harm didn't want to upset Mac and Mac just couldn't put her thoughts into words. When Harm arrived in the room he found Mac sitting in the chair staring out the window.

"Hello sweetheart," Harm said too brightly as he walked in. "Ready to go?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," she replied trying to wipe the tears from her eyes before she turned around.

"Mac, what is it? Are you okay?" he asked concerned etched on his face as he crossed the room to her.

She could say nothing but threw herself into his arms and sobbed into his chest. He soothingly stroked her hair and offered words of comfort but he could still feel her pain, it was as tangible as her hair, her skin. So he held her tighter and told her he loved her again and again and again.

It was after a week at home convalescing Harm and Mac had the conversation that was needed. They were curled up together on her sofa and Harm was gently stroking her arm. Mac's eyes were closed enjoying the comfort she felt being in his arms.

"Sarah," he began in such a quiet voice that she almost missed it. "Talk to me. Tell me what you are thinking, what you are feeling."

She sighed heavily, she knew they needed to talk; she just wasn't sure what to say. She shrugged her shoulders and said nothing.

"Mac?" he asked again and waited.

"I am thinking that I love you," she said tenderly.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

"I am also thinking that I'm feeling alright," she said.

"You're thinking that you're feeling, isn't it easier to keep those two things separate?" he asked kissing her forehead.

"At the moment I can't really distinguish between the two. Can you?" she asked opening her eyes.

"Yeah, I can. I feel incredibly lucky that I have you in my life. I think that … no, I know that I love you and I want you in my life forever." She smiled and reached up to kiss him, he always knew what to say.

"I…I…lost our baby," she began. "I know it wasn't a baby as such and we weren't expecting it but I was still pregnant, even if for a little bit and now I'm not and I don't know if I will be again and … and…" She began sobbing.

"Sarah, take a breath," he instructed quietly, his own tears splashing onto her face.

"But Harm," she sobbed. "This was probably my only chance and if you stay with me then it was probably your only chance and you'd make such a good father. I mean, I've seen you with Mattie and even with Chloe and you'd be so good and if you stay with me then you'll miss your chance and I don't want you regret it. So if you want to go I don't blame you." She turned to face him.

"Sarah, I do not want to go anywhere. If this was our only chance then so be it but the only thing I would regret is not spending the rest of my life you. If we can't get pregnant there are other options. We can adopt, foster, surrogacy or if you can put up with it – just you and me forever. Anyway you look at it, you are stuck with me - whatever comes comes!" He kissed her.

"You say that now but what about in two years or five or ten?" she asked, tears still streaming freely.

"I don't know if you remember but just before all this happened I said we should get married and you agreed," he reminded her.

She looked puzzled for a moment and then she smiled. "I thought it was a dream."

"No, it was real and that was without any guarantees or conditions. Changed your mind?" he asked.

"No, but…" she began

"No, that's all I wanted to hear. You and me together forever." He drew her close and kissed her.

Whatever the new day would bring they had their promise of eternity and it's the only promise either would ever need.

The end


End file.
